December 7, 2012

It’s that time of year again!  I bet you think I’m talking about the holidays?  Nope, I’m talking about the Season of Eating.  There are typically two trains of thought when it comes to December: 

1)  YESSS!!  It’s the holidays; I’m SOOO ditching my diet and am going to eat, eat, eat and not think about ANYTHING healthy until January 1^st!   Cookies, parties, yummy treats – Yahoooo!

And

2)  OH NOOO…it’s the holidays…TOO.  MUCH.  GOOD.  FOOD.  How am I going to get through this???  Cookies, parties, yummy treats, oh my.

This is my 2^nd Season of Eating since I started my healthy lifestyle and I have another train of thought:  Bring on the season!  I’m ready and I have a plan!

Yes, you can look at it one of the above two ways, but both carry along with them some type of guilt whether you end up feeling guilty on January 1^st or you feel guilty every single time you eat something you shouldn’t have…and guilt is awful!  It’s the most horrible feeling and it’s completely counter-productive and quite honestly who needs self-destruction like that???!

First, don’t stress.  This time of year is stressful enough.  Second, have a plan.  It’s not too late or too early to figure out how you’re going to meet these obstacles and temptations head on.  You may have your own plan, but I also wanted to share mine with you.

I’ve said it before:  don’t look at this time of year as a whole season of free-for-all eating.  If you really break down the whole month, there are probably only a few days when there are going to be big temptations.  Not every day is a day to celebrate with food.  Maybe a few office parties or friendly get-togethers, and probably only one or two family gatherings, right?  Make those your days to splurge.  I’m certainly NOT going to tell you not to enjoy food.  Let’s face it, this time of year is, for most of us, the only time when we make and/or receive special treats we reserve for this time of year -  ENJOY THEM.  Just enjoy fewer or less of them.

I also have a workout plan in place.  I work out almost every other day of the year anyway, and I enjoy it immensely. I’m not going to put that on the back burner, especially now.  I will continue to make it a priority.  It’s SO very important to keep your momentum going so that you don’t have to try to start back up again in January.  I love this quote:  If you’re tired of starting over, stop giving up.  You need your workouts for those extra cookies, but also for good mental health!  Counteract the craziness of the season with some really great workouts like walking and hiking if the weather permits, or trying some new workouts – the internet is filled with tons of different videos of things to try.  I’ve even walked in place while I’m watching a movie!  The bottom line:  do something.  Just get up and move -  you will feel better, I promise!

I’m starting off the month 45lbs lighter and I couldn’t be more proud of myself.  I am not worried about the holidays at all, bring them on!  I’m going to enjoy them and I’m certainly NOT going to feel guilt.  Because I’ve got my plan…and I know you’re going to get yours.

No matter how you celebrate your holidays, I hope they are happy, healthy and most importantly, filled with love and laughter.

November 5, 2012 - Happy 1 Year!

Happy 1 year anniversary to the new me!  I began my healthy journey on November 5th, 2011.  It wasn't a significant day, I didn't make a big sweeping declaration, I don't even remember much about the day or why I chose it really.  I just wrote my weight down on a piece of paper along with the date.  It turns out it was a significant date; my new life began on that day and now it'll be a big part of not only who I am becoming but who I will ultimately become.

So here I am, one year later, and 43lbs lighter.  On one hand I am so very unbelievably proud of myself - FORTY THREE pounds!  I only HOPED when I started this that I would be successful, and I have been!  But on the other, I think...only 43?  I could have lost more.  But that hand might be left over from the old me; the one who didn't think I could do this...that pessimistic bitch that still lives inside me.  I hope she's the next big thing I lose, because she's getting on my last fat nerve. 

A few weeks ago I got the best compliment from my biggest supporter, darling Hubby.  I was having a bad day and told him that sometimes I worry that the old me will come back...I honestly felt like she was lurking around the corner.  It was one of those days where I felt like I could eat anything and everything, and it was all I wanted to do and that scared me.  He listened patiently like he always does and then when I said, "What if I can't do this?" he looked at me incredulously and said, "HOW??!  How can you even think that you're that person anymore?  Every single thing you do is different than the old you...you don't look the same way, you don't act the same way, you don't eat the same way, you don't cook the same way, you don't even THINK the same way!"  And it hit me like a ton of bricks that HE didn't even know that old me anymore, and that who I WAS is not who I AM anymore.  PS:  EVERYONE has days when they feel like they can eat everything in sight...even super skinny people.  So don't beat yourself up on those days.  Try to make wise choices, and if you make a few bad ones, suck it up and move on.  One bad day does not ruin your success.

So I'm 1/3 of the way to my goal...you can do the math.  When I get there, I'll be almost half of my previous self.  This fall has been slow, I've lost and gained the same 4lbs since August.  I know that it was a few visits from friends and family, vacations and fun weekends.  And I wouldn't give back one minute.  I said when I started this trip that I was going to enjoy life and enjoy the journey...and sometimes that means just chalking it up to life itself.  I had fun this Fall...THAT'S what I'm taking away from it.  As Hubby always says, "It's not a race to get there - just get there."  The old me would have quit and said, "Well, I tried, but guess it's not meant to happen."  I KNOW I'm not that person anymore...:) 

Still, I'm constantly trying to figure out what works best for me.  I workout like a crazy person, and I don't always lose.  But honestly, I just love working out so much that it doesn't frustrate me like it used to.  I do need to figure something out to get past this though, because obviously I have a ways to go.  A funny thing happened this past week. I hurt my foot and couldn't workout as much as I normally do and I spent the week just watching what I ate...not so much worrying about the exercising...and I lost 3.3lbs.  You see what I mean?  It's constant trial and error.

The biggest thing I have learned up to this point is that even though my plan is counting calories, it is not as simple as calories in and calories out.  And if someone tries to tell you that it is, please have them come and talk to me.  It's about the KINDS of calories that you are putting into your body and the amount of calories each of us needs to burn fat (and everyone's calories needs are different).  400 cookie calories are not the same as 400 lean protein calories.  It. Makes. A. Difference.

More than anything, I feel the greatest pleasure just living a healthy life and being in control of food vs. being controlled by food.  It is the most empowering feeling I have ever experienced...and it feels amazing.  I love this quote:  If you're tired of starting over, stop giving up.  I cannot see myself ever giving up again.  I'm looking forward to many more November 5ths.

October 12, 2012

Today was a good day.  It's the start of a week off from work which is always wonderful.  I started my morning by going to a 3 hour Zumba Marathon with my friend, Maria, and even though we planned to stay for only 2 hours, we had so much fun, we did the the entire thing.  It was great!  And I burned a ton of calories.  Afterwards, I got home and hubby and I ran some errands and I finally got to go shopping for some new, SMALLER, clothes.  (after a month, I finally got past this latest plateau, yay!)  Even though I was exhausted from this morning, I am never too tired to shop :)  This is the first time in a whole lotta years that I've actually found clothes that not only fit, but that flatter.  Normal-sized people have the luxury of being choosey when they are shopping.  Yes, I understand that most times we ALL scrutinize ourselves, but when you're plus-sized, you are at the mercy of what is available to you...and let me tell you, that's not a lot.  I had even tried the plus-size section of Nordstrom, thinking that Nordstrom buyers would surely relate to our perils...nope.  Even Nordstrom thinks that us big girls ADORE fluorescent colored flowers on our clothing.  And don't get me started on the fact that if you are large, the designers then assume that you are also TALL...the old me was always on a perpetual hunt for fashionable, petite plus-sized clothing.  It's pretty much non-existent...

SOooo to be able to have CHOICES like I did today was so much fun for me.  I got some great stuff!!  I told Hubby that he was in for some trouble...with so many options, he better start saving his money.

As I said, today was a good day.  Because the last few days has been a little hard for me.  One year ago on October 18th, I lost an old friend who passed away from ALS (Lou Gehrig's Disease).  My friend was only 40 years old and had a beautiful wife and three amazing kids.   I was so lucky to be able to spend time with him over the last 3 years of his life...however, each time we visited, his health declined drastically.  But we had some great chats and tons of laughs.  He never forgot to remind me to enjoy life.  The last time I saw him was 3 weeks before he passed away.  It affected me very deeply.  But I have my old friend to thank for who I have become this past year.  I thought, and think, about him a lot.  I know that he would have done ANYTHING he could have to try to fight that horrible disease.  But as you know, there was nothing he could do.  I realized that being 40 and obese was also a disease...only I was living a slow death...and I COULD do something about it...I could save my own life.  If my friend was here, he would tell me not to waste it.  I feel like I owe it to him - and to every person who has passed away after such a short life - to fight to live.  To not waste the time that I have here.  You could say this for not only losing weight, but also for not worrying about little things, enjoying every single day, appreciating your loved ones, and being kind to others.  Live a good, quality life.  I want him to know that I am not going to waste this life.  That was the beginning of the new me.  And if the time comes that I get lazy, or slack off, I will think of him, and I will get my ass off the couch and move it.  RIP, and thank you, JB.

October 10, 2012

It's been a few weeks since I've journaled, only because I have had a lot going on at work and lots of visitors in town - no offense to my followers, but I love my family and friends and they came to visit so I HAD to make a choice!  You understand :)

We have had a mild Fall but the weather changed for us a few days ago and we are now into the "long pant" phase of the season...although Hubby is the last of the holdouts and will probably wear shorts until Thanksgiving.

Anyway, I'm stuck in a plateau again and just plugging along like I know I'm supposed to do.  But a funny thing happened the other day.  It was jeans day at work, and again it's cool outside, so I grabbed my "skinniest" pair of long jeans from last season and threw them on...they were baggy.  And not just a little loose...but saggy-butt-baggy...and I needed a belt.  I don't own belts...thing is, when you're fat, you don't need one and you're certainly not tucking your shirts in to show off a cool, fun, belt. 

So, back to the baggy jeans...all I can say is that I've heard about this moment happening to other people, have outwardly cheered for them, and secretly longed for the feeling myself...I am here to tell you that it was exactly as I had imagined it to be, and more...it was euphoric.

So even though my stupid enemy, the Scale, is not being nice to me (Bitch!), I can laugh in her face and shake my baggy jeans at her - ha!

It's a pretty great feeling.

The next fun phase:  shopping for new jeans...oh, and maybe a cute belt.

Septemer 22, 2012

It's officially Fall!! Or Autumn if you're super fancy ;o)  It's been a little while since I posted but honestly, it's not for any other reason than I've been busy!  My honey and I have spent every weekend this month camping in our RV.  We are having the best time and it's so nice to have a relaxing weekend to look forward to!  We were so busy over the summer that we had so few relaxing days.  This has been great.  We sleep in a little bit, we don't feel like we HAVE to do anything.  I can even get him to walk around with me for exercise!  At home, he never wants to walk!  Must be nice to be blessed with good metabolism and you don't have to think about it every minute of every day like me ;o)  Of course, he's a FedEx courier so he spends his days working out, lol.

Anyway, our relaxing weekends have also put me behind in coming up with recipes to try for the blog, but also helped me to get creative.  For instance today we are here at the campground and I'm making a healthy beef stroganoff in the crockpot!

Regarding the scale, I've had a few ups and downs but have lost another pound since my last update in August.  I'm starting to get less frustrated when that happens...I think it's because by now, I'm starting to understand exactly what my body needs to lose weight.  It's the strangest thing but when I have a week when I haven't eaten enough, I either remain the same or gain - I hate that!  But what I realized is that even though it's frustrating as hell and annoying beyond belief, I know that I did what I was supposed to do that week to be healthy.  The worst part would be if I gained when I had a few bad days, but for some strange reason that doesn't happen.  It's THOSE weeks when I actually lose!  Of course, that's not enough to make me want to eat like that all the time ;o)  I know now that I have to watch every calorie and work out 5-6 days a week.  It's not always going to be like that but right now, it's what I have to do.

Last weekend when we were here, I actually jogged a little bit - GASP!  Some of you may not know that I DESPISE running...literally, I hate it.  Mostly because I feel like I already put enough burden on my poor knees that to add bouncing and bounding into the equation certainly can't help...But my dear running friend Missy has been seeing a trainer to help her with her running form and she's been sharing it with me so I decided to try it.  I couldn't believe it but I actually did JOG (as opposed to walk really fast) and I could do it for a good while!  The only reason I had to stop is that there are paved sections here and gravel sections and I am NOT the most graceful person so I'm not even going to chance running on gravel.  Anyway, I am going to try it again this week and see how long I can do it again - maybe I can go farther today??

So check back next week for that healthy beef stroganoff recipe - it smells so good in the camper!!

August 17, 2012

I lost that bag of salt…

Some of you may remember a few posts back where Hubby related my 23lb loss to “more than half a bag of softener salt”.  I was complaining (nothing new) and he was trying to help (nothing new, poor dude).  Well, I finally lost the other half of that bag J  I made it past the 40lb mark, yay!  I had super high hopes of getting to 50lbs by my birthday, but just decided to get wherever I would be by then and hey, 42lbs is just fine with me!

As promised to some of my dearest friends, I am posting my newest “after” (I guess it should actually be called “during”) pic.

One of the hard parts about needing to lose a lot of weight is not noticing the little things along the way.  I tend to look at each day or week individually but not the journey as a whole.  So I decided that a fun little way to keep seeing the big picture is to take notes of the things I’m noticing that I can actually do now that that first 40lbs is gone.  This part is actually hard for me to put out into the Universe.  Only people who have a weight problem - and for me, a VERY BIG (haha) weight problem - will understand.  If you haven’t ever had to worry or struggle with your size, you’ll see the things that you don’t think twice about when you are not big.  Here’s my list, try not to judge the old me too harshly:

1.    I can fit in a restaurant booth…comfortably…

2.    Stairs do not scare me anymore.

3.    I can buckle my airplane seatbelt…and tighten it.

4.    I can place my laptop, plate, anything I want to on my lap…cuz, um, I actually have one now.

5.    When I was on vacation last month, I climbed a big rock and jumped into the lake J

One of the biggest ways I have changed is that I am becoming more confident and believing that I can actually do things now.  And that’s a pretty great feeling.

August 2, 2012

Recently my workplace invited us to participate in a health screening where they performed a little prick-test on our finger.  The blood drawn was tested to determine our numbers which included glucose levels, blood pressure and cholesterol.  I was eager to participate because I really wanted to know how much better I’m doing on the “inside.”  Everything was fantastic; well-below average and that felt so good!  The only thing I really need to work on is upping my “good” cholesterol:  HDLs.  If you don’t know what your numbers are, or what I’m even talking about, below are the desirable goals that we are all shooting for and what my numbers actually were.

Total Cholesterol:  <200mg/dL is Optimal	Me:  138
Good Cholesterol (HDLs):  >60mg/dL	Me:  45
Bad Cholesterol (LDLs):  <100mg/dL is Optimal	Me:  75
Triglycerides:  <150mg/dL is Normal	Me:  86
Fasting Glucose:  <100mg/dL is Normal	Me:  94

The American Heart Association recommends adults over 20 have a fasting lipoprotein profile completed.  If you are interested in your numbers, talk to your physician.  Getting to or maintaining great numbers will help to reduce your risk of coronary heart disease and/or diabetes.

My fasting glucose result above is probably the one I'm most proud of.  In the old days, I was pre-diabetic.  In fact, if I can recall correctly, my number was 119.  At the time, I had an endocrinologist and she immediately put me on Metformin, a common prescription for prediabetics.  It was a scary time for me.  I hated being on that medicine and hated to think that I was on my way to full blown Type II Diabetes...but it obviously didn't scare me enough to lose weight at the time.  I'm so happy to say that I have been off this particular medication for more than a year now.  So that number above is all my doing!

Currently, I am still on a cholesterol medicine due to my family history.  But my doc reduced the dose in March and if all goes well, I'll be off before the end of the year!

So, in researching ways to raise my good cholesterol, I found it was not that difficult.  I’m already doing many of them (aerobic exercise, lose weight), but the other things I can do is to increase monounsaturated fat and soluble fiber into my diet.  Want to up YOUR monounsaturated fat levels and increase soluble fiber?  Here’s what you do:  add good oils like canola, avocado or olive oil into your day.  And here’s one you are probably already doing, too:  eat peanut butter!  Nuts and fish and other foods containing omega-3 fatty acids are also great.  I’ve begun keeping a bag of almonds in my car, and I eat 10 on my way to work.  Soluble fibers can be found in oats, fruits and veggies, and legumes, so have some oatmeal for breakfast tomorrow and work it into your weekly menu!

July 17, 2012

I'm back from vacation!  Had a great week with my Hubby's family at Trout Lake in Upstate NY.  As I stated below, I was nervous but I didn't need to be at all.  I spent every day hiking, swimming, kayaking, canoeing and walking with the family...in other words, not much idle time!  On other vacations, my main activity was eating :)  Don't get me wrong, I did some of that, too but the actual physical activities kept my normal vacation weight at bay:  I only gained .4 lbs...and what is POINT 4 really?  I've come back from some vacations having gained 10lbs before - yes indeedy, it's true.  It feels good to not be "starting over" or trying to lose the same lbs again!

Now, my mom and 7 year old niece are here visiting for the next two weeks.  Another challenge to overcome:  continuing my plan with a child leading our schedules, lol...Moms everywhere around the world do it, right?  So I really have nothing to complain about & that is all I have to say about that!

July 3, 2012

I’m nervous…next week I will be on vacation.  You think I’m a weirdo, don’t you?  Vacation…nervous…wah??  See, the thing is that this is the first full week of vacation that I will be taking since I started my healthy journey last November.  I made it through the holidays by not going crazy and remembering to tell myself that it’s not a season of eating…it’s one day/meal.  But here’s the rub:  this is SEVEN days of being out of my element, out of my routine, and it makes me a little nervous.

In my past life, I looked forward to any reason that I could find to take a break from “dieting” and one of the biggest derailments was vacation…specifically vacation food.  It was a free for all for me.  I’d enjoy everything that I wanted and didn’t normally get because I had deprived myself for a period of time.  Then, I’d come back from vacation and continue the pattern berating myself for not getting right back on the plan…then eventually, there’d be no plan…just a month or two that went by and that little voice in my head that said, “I just haven’t been the same since vacation.”  And the scale just went up and up…this happened over and over and over.

So that’s where that little seed of worry creeps in about next week…will I be able to come back and get back into my routine?  Have I really become the person who is this stringent with my schedule and a freak about being healthy?  Hell YES, I absolutely have.  You know why?  This is my healthy plan; this is my life.  My mom, she’s such a fabulous lady, she summed up my feelings in a nutshell.  She said, “You’re moving into Phase II.  You’ve mastered Phase I and are eating healthy, you have your plan, you’re dedicated and as long as you have that plan, you’re good.  But in Phase II, there are some obstacles that you aren’t comfortable with yet that you have to master.  They involve little challenges like a change in your schedule you didn’t plan for, vacations, and even last minute get-togethers where meals are planned that you don’t get to choose.  Once you pass these obstacles, you’ll feel better and more in control and that you are on your way to mastering this next phase.”  She’s brilliant, that mom of mine.

‘Til now, I’ve been able to bounce back from a few days of being off schedule.  She’s right, I do feel like I can come back quickly from those situations now.  I barely give them any thought.  In fact, it’s weird but I get a little giddy when I get back into my routine.  I’m seriously that much of a control freak, I guess.  But, this new me sees vacation as a definite road block because I haven’t had this challenge yet.  This time, I’m definitely heading into it with a new outlook…my eating plan is NOT a diet that I get to take a break from.  It’s how I eat now, every single day.  It will be how I live the rest of my life.  I will always have to make healthy choices if I want to win this battle.  And I’m okay with that – I accept the challenge because the alternative is not an option.  However, on vacation I will be completely out of my element without control over what the menu will be except for a few meals that I’m planning.  I’m also nervous that the rest of our family will hate my healthier meals…I mean, it’s their vacation, too right?  Should they have to eat turkey meatballs?  But honestly, seven days of eating badly or without a little bit of control is completely freaking me out!  And how lame would making a separate meal for myself be?  It goes against everything that I know:  I can eat whatever I want in normal size portions.  That’s just life and the life I want to have.  However, I can supplement a few not-so-healthy meals with lots of exercise and I feel comfortable when I can plan, plan, plan ahead.  Obviously, that’s not always an option and I have to be better at figuring that out or going with the flow.  Not an easy task for me, but I’m trying!!  And with vacation…I have to do something to feel like I’m still in control of my journey a little bit.  Sooo, I’m making the turkey meatballs, anyway J

So, here’s my plan:  1) Try to relax and enjoy myself; it’s vacation for damn sake!  2)  Make solid plans to work out; I’ve already researched hikes I can do in the area 3)  Enjoy some good food but don’t go nuts and 4)  Bring my own healthy options to have when I can/need to.

My goal is to come back having not gained a gazillion pounds, I’m

June 22, 2012

Phew!  Plateau update:  Busted through it!  Lost 2lbs at weigh-in this morning!  36lbs gone!  Sorry 35, I shot right past ya!  I'm not going to write a big journal entry but did want to say what I did differently this week.  I raised my calories, eating more, and didn't try for huge workout calories.  I know, weird concept, right?  But it worked.  This was the highest weight loss week I've had since March.  I toned down my workout timing (40-60 minutes vs. 60-90), attempted to do some High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT), and burned between 300-500 calories in my workouts.  I'm attempting to eat at my BMR and workout like a normal person, not a crazy person.  I'm going to try it again next week and see if there really is something to this "eat more, lose more" concept.  I'll keep you posted!

June 20, 2012

It has been awhile since I posted a journal entry!  I had hopes of posting my past few weeks of weight loss with the goal to post when I got to 35lbs.  But, I have hit another plateau and here I sit at 34lbs; and I’ve been here for a few weeks now.

I’m a really stubborn person and everyone who knows me knows that I am the most impatient person, too.  In my last post, I stated my goal was to get to 50lbs by my birthday.  That was a pretty realistic goal when I made it 6 weeks ago.  Only now, with this slower crawl in my “30s”, that goal is getting further and further away.  As of now, to hit that goal, I have 10 weeks to lose 16lbs.  That’s more than 1 ½ lbs a week and with weeks like I’ve been having, it’s not looking good.  Hubby has reminded me that these mini-goals are great, but the bigger goal is to keep doing what I’m doing.  It’s not important WHEN I get there, it’s important TO get there.  He’s right…even if I hate to admit it!

It pains me to acknowledge that I’m struggling, but I know that this is reality.  And it’s not only my reality it’s A LOT of people’s reality.  I want to be a success WITH struggles to overcome.  Overcoming them is an amazing feeling!  I recently read a story about a person who lost a ton of weight.  What they did was INCREDIBLE.  But as I read their story I kept waiting to read about their struggle…how some days/weeks it was difficult and there were no budges in the scale…it never came.  They gained a lot of weight, then saw the light one day and BAM!  Dropped 300+lbs.  I’m not saying that they didn’t have weeks like I’m having, but their story didn’t tell us about those weeks.  Just that they got on a plan, stuck to it and it was gone.  It was inspiring to read about that success, truly, but I didn’t relate to it.  That’s why I decided to post about my frustrating journey this week.  For many, weight loss is a constant struggle!  I would have liked to say that I got on one plan and stuck to it and it’s been successful for me, but the truth is:  every week, I hop on that scale and I really just don’t know what it’s going to say.  Some weeks I do everything right and I lose; some weeks I do everything right and I don’t lose a darn thing.  The reality is that I’m a slave to that scale…and if just praying to it worked, I’d be doing bikini commercials by now.

So, I adjust some things:  change up my workouts / add or subtract calories / pray some more…and I wait.  The difference is that this is the NEW me now.  Although it’s extremely frustrating, I now know to keep going.  What I don’t or WON’T do is quit; there’s not even an ounce of me that wants to do that.  I keep going because I know it’s the right thing to do.  Even if I want to throw the scale out the window, which I might just do!

So check back later to see if I hit the next big goal – I’m not sure what that will be at this point.  50lbs is still in my sights, but at this point, 35lbs is looking pretty damn good to me.

May 3, 2012

Well, I made it through Easter, two visits with my BFF, and numerous other houseguest visits (aka:  Guests?  Let’s eat!) and I was still able to lose AND hit my next milestone:  30 pounds.

Since my last journal update, I’ve had two great things happen.  One of the highlights of the past few weeks was a shopping trip for new, smaller, clothes.  It’s such a great feeling and SO NOT what I am used to.  I pulled my old size off the rack (not sure why since I know in my head that I’m not that size anymore…guess out of habit?) and tried them on, only to find I needed the smaller size.  In the 20 years that I’ve been packing on these pounds, that has rarely happened.

The other highlight was a visit to my doctor for my 6-month check-up.  While I was sitting in the exam room waiting for him, he suddenly burst through the door, smiling and yelling “Thirty Pounds!??”  I always dread doctors visits because I never failed to get the “shame on you” look from them.  This one definitely felt good.

The hard part though, is that I am not a very patient person…I’m probably the LEAST patient person I know.  And it seems to be taking FOREVER to get these stinking pounds off!  I know that “slow and steady wins the race” and when I think about how in the last 6 months, I’ve been able to average 5 pounds a month, I feel a teensy bit better…

But, this is my new life – and I love it.  I laugh at myself because there are so many ways in my old life that I was just plain lazy.  When I traveled, I refused to walk anywhere, even a mere few blocks – “Taxi!”  When I was confronted with a set of stairs, I would be overcome with anxiety – “Um, where’s the elevator?”  Now, I literally get excited when there’s any opportunity to burn some calories.  And stairs?  Well, I’ve begun a new tumultuous relationship...with the Stairmaster at my gym…I love to hate that mofo.

When I was trying to get to 30 pounds, I felt like when I got here it would be momentous…and don’t get me wrong…it is, really.  But, like a freaking crack-addict, I just want a bigger number…I want more.

So I’m throwing it out there into the Big Bad Universe:  My next big goal is 50lbs…by my birthday…which means, I have 20lbs to lose in 4 months.  Stay tuned!

March 29, 2012

I did it!  I made it to 25lbs!  25.2 to be exact…I feel like I should have something really monumental and insightful to say, but the only thing I have to say is that it was hard work….And I know that it’s going to keep being hard…harder for each pound.  But I can honestly say that I’m just enjoying the ride…I truly am.

I love being in control and going to bed at night with zero guilt…knowing that I did everything I could that day to be healthy.  Another thing I love is all the great food I’m eating!  I have not felt deprived.  I’m tracking everything that I eat which helps to keep me in check and if I feel like eating a bagel, I have a freaking bagel.  And I do…every Friday…it even has a name:  Bagel Friday…my friends and I, we’re VERY creative.

So, as promised, I am posting a before picture (blech…)  

And now, my 25.2lb after-picture…I will try to keep posting pics as I reach some milestones. 

I have a long way to go.  If I reach my goal weight, I’ll have lost almost half of me…but I try not to think about that part too much.  I’m just going to enjoy this little milestone - Happy 25lbs to me!

March 15, 2012

Plateau Update:  I busted through that 19lber and ended up on the other side, woot!  After 5 VERY LONG weeks, I finally had a loss!  3.7lbs to be exact and a total of 22.7…I’m on my way again!

So here’s what I did:  I made just a few small changes and I think they were key in the fight…I paid closer attention to my heart rate monitor (and trusted it) during workouts, and I lowered my calories by 200 a day.  That seemed to be the kicker.  I can’t tell you how happy I was to get on that freaking scale and see that number go down!

I’m going to admit something…up to this point, those 3.7lbs are the most significant of my whole healthy journey…I fought HARD for them.  The part that makes me so proud is that I didn’t give up; and believe me, in my past journeys I have been the Queen of Giving Up…so now I can say that I USED to be that queen.  Now, I’m channeling Dorey…you know...from Disney’s Finding Nemo?  “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming…” You have that song in your head now, don’t you?  Sorry.

Another great aspect of this go-round is the wonderful support I have.  I have THE most supportive hubby on this planet; no matter how many times I’ve expressed my frustration, he is always there to patiently talk about it and to help me figure out what I can do to keep going and to keep motivated.  He’ll even “pause” Sports Center when I’m having one of my moments.  Just the other day, I was complaining (again!) and he asked me to do something.  He said, “Do we have water softener salt in the garage?”  I replied, “Um, I don’t know?”  You see, that’s on HIS list to keep track of ;)  So I looked in the garage and we did.  He said, “Can you bring it in?”  Now, here’s where things get a bit questionable…because you see in my house, the deal is that the Pretty Girl doesn’t have to carry heavy things unless it’s absolutely necessary.  But I thought about it, and I WAS already up, AND I’m super strong now with all this working out, so I go and grab it and bring it in.  He kindly met me halfway and he asked, “Is it heavy?”  (Insert Snotty Face here…)  I reply, “Yah, it’s 40 pounds of salt!”  He takes it from me and says “More than half of that bag is what you’ve lost.”  (Insert Light Bulb here…)

I just love him.

I also have a huge support system in my friends.  I used to think that going it alone was how I was going to succeed.  I thought:  No one else has as much to lose as I do…and I don’t want to worry about another person’s struggles, I’ve got my own!  Yah, that’s what I used to think but not anymore.  I NEED this support.  And don’t get me wrong, a weight loss journey is absolutely an individual excursion, but you need your friends to support you, to encourage you, and to scream, yell and curse the Gods who inflicted this terrible metabolism on us!  While I was trying to break this plateau, a few of my friends were also experiencing plateaus.  Do you know how much that helped me?  To know that it wasn’t just me not getting it, or that it was just me failing…That was immensely helpful to me.  With their support, I/we got through it!

So, lean on your support system and just do something every day to get healthy.  Most importantly:  don’t give up.  Just keep going…just keep going…

February 17, 2012

Since starting this blog, I have had a lot of ideas of things I wanted to add that I thought would be interesting to people.  Obviously, I started with the recipes because everyone loves food.  But as the blog and I have progressed, I had thoughts to add a photo journal of my beginning weight and subsequent milestones as I’ve reached them.  My first thought was to start at my 25lb loss and then go from there.  Well, that’s been my plan for a month now and as you can see, there are no photos yet…I didn’t think it would happen this soon, but I’ve remained at the same exact weight for almost 2 ½ weeks now…I’ve hit the dreaded “plateau.”  Not sure why I added quotations there, it literally is a plateau.  I’ve lost 19lbs so far and for the past two weeks, I haven’t lost a thing…not even an ounce. 

The crazy thing is that in my past attempts to lose weight - and believe me there have been many – I don’t remember a plateau.  You know why?  Because most likely I had given up by that point.  Perhaps if I had even gotten to a plateau, I probably wouldn’t have wanted to work that hard anymore anyway…I mean what’s the point, right? 

But this time is so much different.  I want this for so many different reasons but mainly because I want to live a healthy life.  And here’s the other crazy thing:  at this point, I actually think it’s kind of comical…because I honestly do not know what more I can do.  This new lifestyle makes me so happy.  I work out at least 5 times a week and I love it; I mean, I LOVE it.  And I count every calorie that I consume.  My calories IN are always less calories than I’m putting OUT, sometimes by 1,000 calories.  It's been frustrating and confusing and head-scratching; I’ve joked that it actually IS rocket science!! 

I guess the reason I can joke about it is that while it IS a frustrating bump, it isn't going to derail me.  My entire day is planned around when I’m going to work out and what I will be eating that day.  Being healthy has truly become my part time job…in all honesty, it’s probably become my other full time job.  Because I’m THAT consumed and driven; but it's a job I'm enjoying.

I've noticed that my clothes are fitting better and THAT is a measurement of success and it does make me happy and feel great.  But why do we rely on that stupid scale as the be-all, end-all when it comes to success?

So for the past few weeks, I’ve researched all kinds of information about weight loss plateaus from WebMD to the Mayo Clinic and guess what they’ve said that I do?  The exact thing that I’m doing or have tried:  work out more, vary your workout, eat less, eat more…So, you see?  I really have to laugh and just hope that next week that #$%* scale bestows upon this loyal subject a number that makes me happier.  My motto this month:  Just Keep Going.