February 28, 2013

Non-Scale Victories Linkup Feb 28, 2013


It's Thursday which means it is NSV Thursday in my world!  This week, I did exactly what I said I was going to do last week and I wrote my NSV's down as they happened.  I feel like that could be my first NSV this week :)

Last Friday, I was having one of those uncontrollable days, and it was one of those days where I knew exactly what I was doing, I just didn't care.  Not in a bad way that I couldn't recover from, but an honest to goodness "I Honestly Don't Care" day.  I think I needed it.  There were cookies...glorious cookies...and by golly, I was gonna have some...or 10.  Of course, that's not my NSV!  That came in when I sat down at the end of the day to get caught up on all of my blog friend's posts.  Unless you have struggled with your weight on the same level that I have/am, you cannot imagine the support that you really need from people who just GET IT.  My blog friends get it.  Reading these blogs is SO inspirational.  The amazing strength that each of them harbors, as well as the inspiration they give to me every day, is one of the many things that keep me going.  So instead of continuing to have my "I don't care" attitude that day, I read those blogs and they MADE me care about how I ended my day in control, which is exactly what I did.  Thanks, Blog Buddies!!

This next NSV is a little bit funny, but again, unless you've never experienced it, you probably don't understand the joy it brings to find you actually have one...I'm talking about "My Lap."  As in, I found out that I have A LAP.  I figured it out when I was sitting in the car on a work trip and I was able to eat out of it, like a normal person...as in I could sit stuff on it without my tummy being in the way, and my breakfast didn't slide off the front it, or using it didn't give me leg cramps as I was trying to hold them together.  I really don't know how I can expound upon this one any more, but this is a huge NSV for me!

We were out of town this past weekend and there is a great little restaurant/bakery in the little village we stayed in and everything they have there is amazing.  I could have made a really healthy decision for breakfast and had egg whites, but as I stated at the beginning of my journey, I don't want to NOT experience things along the way and sometimes that may mean food choices.  I'm eating like I want to eat for the rest of my life, I'm on a lifetime journey, which means if an opportunity presents itself, I want to have a "normal" moment and enjoy it.  Enter:  Banana Bread French Toast with Blueberry Compote and Lemon Whipped Cream.  Three words:  Totally Worth It.  Now, my NSV is that I didn't eat much for the rest of the day, then I got my butt home and worked it out like crazy to make up for it :)  Give and take...I'm totally willing to GIVE some blood, sweat and tears to TAKE bites of delicious goodness such as these along the way!

My last NSV is that I started running using the C25K app on my phone.  I'm happy to report that I not only ran every time that little voice told me to, but I also added 3 additional runs in at the end.  Of course, "running" is probably a loose term, but I have these little stubby legs that right now can only run at about 4.5 mph.  I'm working on it, though!  Do any of you ever have running dreams?  I'm talking about dreams in which I am running like I'm an actual runner.  I run all over the place and never get tired!?  My aspirations are not to become a runner, but I really want to be able to run a bit of a distance...like maybe some day I'll be able to run a whole mile all at once!!

I hope all of you had a some noteworthy NSV's this week and remember that no matter how small your victory is, it is still a victory!

February 26, 2013

Biggest Loser Linkup February 26


This week's post is a day late; unfortunately we had a death in the family and I was attending services so I'm sure you'll understand.

I didn't have a huge loss this week but I'm going to tell myself that a loss is a loss and TRY to think that all of the little losses add up - right??

Weekly weigh-in:  -.4
Total on the challenge: -4.8 lost
Total on my journey:  50.7 lbs lost

I've been reading a lot of blogs lately, and they truly inspire me every day.  Some of my blog friends have posted about negativity and I got to thinking that it really is terrible when other people are not happy for you and your positive changes.  Then, I experienced it...and now I, TOO know what it feels like...and it doesn't feel good - AT ALL.

I've always been one of those people that get along with pretty much everyone, but as I grow older and learn more about myself, I realized that a lot of times it was because I was trying to please everyone.  Now, don't get me wrong, I think that trying to get along with others is a GOOD quality, but one that should only be used for good...not evil.  Negative people are going to come and go, and as I grow, I am much more cautious about who I let into my life.  And I've tried to remove negative people along the way.  I always say "Pluck those weeds right out of your friendship garden!"  Okay, so that's a little schmoopy, but you get the picture.

But, opening yourself up to the blogosphere really also opens you up to a whole lotta peeps that you don't know, who don't know you, and who are jealous and petty and pretty much downright annoying.  There are so many more opportunities for negativity to creep right in.  Creep being the operative word here.

What I want to remind myself, and my fellow blog friends is this:  WE are the reasons we are taking this trip.  WE are the ones who want to be healthy and live long lives for our families and friends and loved ones.  WE are the ones who put in the hard work EVERY single day.  WE will NOT let those creeps take any of that away.


February 21, 2013

Non-Scale Victories February 21


Where did this week go?  Is it possible for a week to go slowly and fast at the same time??  And we still have one more day to get through!

My non-scale victories list for this week is pretty short; I must remember to write these little things down as I think of them.

I went a teensy bit overboard last weekend; not too crazy but I decided not to stress and try to relax in regard to eating...I'm trying to do that more - it's HARD!  Anyway, since I did enjoy more than I normally do, I worked out every day.  I normally try to take a rest day in between but I did some good cardio burning every single day including Saturday and Sunday.  I tried the 30 Day Shred and can I just say, "Owwww!"  It was such a good workout!  Also, my gym buddy even had me try some crazy treadmill moves which, BTDubs, is not easy for me as I am one of the clumsiest peeps I know.  I was a little nervous, but with some hidden ninja-like moves and perhaps a little new found core strength, I did not trip or fall off said treadmill - yay!

The one NSV that actually stuck out in my mind is that I forced myself to go to bed early a few nights in the past week JUST so that I didn't eat everything I wanted to...and boy did I want to!  I hate when I have that feeling:  that uncontrollable-nothing-will-satisfy-me urge...you know what I'm talking about?

I've also been trying to ween myself off of the sugar I put into my coffee and for the past two weeks, I've been able to have my favorite morning iced latte with just unsweetened vanilla almond milk and my liquid stevia drops.  I'm happy to report that I've finally discovered my perfect combination of flavor deliciousness!  It's honestly the favorite part of my work morning...it literally makes me happy just thinking about it!

That's all I have to report for this week!  I hope all of you had some great NSV's, too!

February 18, 2013

Biggest Loser Linkup February 18


It's that time again!  Notice, I use a happy voice when it's been a good week??  I was super proud of myself for getting back on track so quickly after returning from vacation and it definitely paid off!

As I mentioned in my previous post, over the last year of my journey, pending vacations actually brought on a lot of anxiety (see this post from last July...HIGH anxiety!).  In the past vacations were the end of being healthy and coming back was even harder because I could never get back into my routine.  But something changed along the way and it became a lot easier to do it each time.  The great Hubs keeps telling me I'm not the same person anymore and I guess I'm harder to convince of that.  It does get easier to believe each time I overcome an obstacle.

This recent vacation was probably the biggest challenge because it was a cruise...the mecca of buffets and deliciousness.  I handled it and now, I've conquered another aspect:  losing the vacation weight right away! 

Weekly weigh-in:  -3.3 (Lost what I gained and another .2, whoop!)
Total on the challenge:  -4.4 lost
Total on my journey:  50.3 lbs lost

Now, let me tell you it was HARD...not hard to get back into my workout routine, but it was hard to not eat more than I needed to.  I think my stomach was still trying to go back to vacation eating.  Honestly, a few days I went to bed early just to get away from the kitchen because I knew it was going to be hard to control myself.

So I tracked and tracked some more, worked out and drank a ton of water and phew!  It's gone!  I'm back to being on the right track again.

I love this quote and I feel super proud when I read it:

I hope all of my BLC buddies have a great weigh-in, too!

February 14, 2013

Non-Scale Victories Linkup Feb 14, 2013

Ahhh, Love!

Happy Valentine's Day!!

Even though I'm a girly-girl, I'm not a big Valentine's Day person...And please don't get me wrong, I love a day that is specifically set aside for love!!  You probably think I'm weird, but I'm of the mindset that every day of the year should be celebrated with love...corny, right?  But seriously!  A long time ago, my sweet Hubby said, "Why do I need a holiday to remind you how much I love you?"  Insert *swoon*...and we've never celebrated Valentine's Day again...And to this day, he has kept his promise to show me every day...even if it's just throwing away my recently used tissue (true story)...sweet, right?  Haha!

This year though, a couple of my girlfriends and I are getting together for Girls Night In and we're planning some healthy eats and chick chat!  I'm excited since we don't get to do this much.  I hope you and your sweetie or friends have something fun planned too!  If you don't have plans with others, be sure to plan to do something fun to celebrate you!

Since I missed last week's linkup, I'm going to incorporate two week's worth of NSV's - hope you don't mind!

1)  Shopped for vacation clothes and bought LOTS of things in smaller sizes...although I was a little frustrated with trying to find a formal dress...shopping is way more fun if you actually fit into a smaller size...I'm in-between sizes and although I reached my first big goal of 50lbs, I was a little deflated that I couldn't find a dress that looked nice.  I digress.

2)  Since my vacation didn't officially start until Sunday night, I didn't go into "eat everything" mode until we reached our first destination.  In the past, I would have hit the vacation button at 4:30pm on my last day of work.

2)  While on vacation I brought my workout gear and my heart rate monitor and I worked out every single day.  The treadmill isn't so boring when you're staring at the ocean!

3)  As soon as we got home from vacation, I got back on plan.  Vacation is over!

4)  I've been eating my weight in broccoli and cauliflower this week...not really, but for some reason I've been craving it and I can't get enough...hoping my digestive system  doesn't hate me, heh heh...

5)  I was super excited that I was able to have a decent picture of me taken on our vacation so I'm counting this one as an NSV, too:

6)  This isn't my own NSV, but I just wanted to give a shout out to all of my new blog friends who have made my journey so much fun and I'm super proud of all of you and YOUR NSV's - you inspire me!  We can do this!

February 12, 2013

Biggest Loser Linkup February 12


Hello everyone!  I'm sorry this is late, but I was on vacation last week so I wasn't able to post and getting back and trying to get caught up put me a little behind. I had a great weigh-in last week and reached a huge milestone - 50lbs!  I was so excited!!

We left for our cruise and I was able to workout every day; this helped because I ate badly pretty much every day.  Or should I say that I ate without worrying?  Yah, let's go with that!  Which brings me to my weigh-in...and although I hate ANY gain, I was actually really happy with this one because I was a little scared it would be more.  I've actually gone on vacations and gained almost 10lbs!

Weekly weigh-in:  +3.1
Total on the challenge:  -1.1 lost
Total on my journey:  47 lbs lost

I was back on plan as soon as we got home and it actually feels so good to be back into my regular routine.  In the past, any time I went on vacation, I would come back and just continue to make bad choices.  Vacation usually ended my healthy plan and I'd go back to eating badly and of course feeling horrible about it every day.

But that was the old me and it took a few vacations in the past year to realize that I am able to enjoy myself but that it's important to start right back on plan to keep my momentum going.  The first time I was able to do that, I felt such a feeling of accomplishment.  It's truly an empowering feeling to be in charge of my healthy life.

I hope everyone had a great week - although I gained, I feel pretty successful!  Now, I'm just hoping it doesn't take me twice as long to take it off, haha!

February 1, 2013

How to Lose 50lbs the Hard Way

I finally made it!!!!!!!!!!  I reached my first big milestone.  I weighed this morning and I’ve officially lost 50lbs (Actually, it’s 50.1, haha). 
It feels so good!!
So, I feel like I have to say something significant about it and I wasn’t sure where I was going with it, but in thinking back on the last year+, I realized I DO have something to say.  Forgive me, but I’m about to get philosophical (hey, I’ve earned it, right?)
Lots of times over the last year, I’ve seen people who don’t see me regularly and their question is always the same, “Wow, tell me how did you did it?”  I always say the same thing:  “Just what I’m supposed to be doing; eating right and exercising.  The old fashioned way.”  That’s about where I lose them…they get that smile on their face that says something like, “Oh…”  They kind of lose interest and aren’t usually as curious at that point.  Most people don’t want to hear that it wasn’t easy…they want to hear that it was some magic thing that just happened…but it doesn’t just happen.  It takes work…every single day.  Lots of people don’t want to work for it…I didn’t either, believe me…Oh, how I wish it could have been easy!  Because I have to say that even though I feel amazing - I’m indeed so incredibly proud of myself - I’m honestly physically and mentally exhausted and just plain beat up…Yes, I got here, but it definitely kicked my ass. 
In case you didn’t catch my drift:  it was hard.
I answered another question recently about which diet fad I’d like to see disappear.  My answer was that it’s not really a fad, but the misconception that losing weight successfully can ever be a quick and easy fix.  It’s just not true.  When will everyone realize that to be healthy you have to BE healthy?
Losing weight has never come easy for me.  Now, if you want to talk about what’s easy, let’s talk about GAINING weight…that I’m an expert on.  But losing, is a whole ‘nother story.  I’ve spent the last 14 months waking up & spending most parts of every single day thinking about food, planning meals, planning workouts, worrying about obstacles (both real and imagined), planning for said obstacles, doubting whether I could do this (do I have another day left in me?), and stumbling around trying to figure out what is going to consistently work for me…lots of thinking…lots of working out, and pushing, pushing, pushing.  14 months…approximately 420 days…10,080 hours…604,800 minutes…you get me??
Oh, and I can’t forget to mention the tears.  Lots of tears.  I’ve cried a lot out of frustration because it’s just so freaking exhausting to do this day in and day out.  I’ve literally teared up standing on the scale…it has ruined a few days…made me crabby to those around me (poor Hubs), and in reality that effing scale has controlled a better part of my adult life, honestly. 
And working out?  For most of the beginning of my journey, I spent 7 days a week working out…and I’m not talking 30 minutes here or there…I’m talking hours… ß with an “s”.  It’s still a huge part of my everyday life.  When I don’t feel like doing it, when it’s the last thing I feel I can physically do…I get up and I do it anyway.  Only recently I’ve learned that I need to relax a little bit with my workouts.  I did a lot of research and even though it’s great for my cardio system, too much exercise is not entirely good for you.  Our bodies need some rest.  And I’m learning that, for me, losing weight consistently is 80% food, 20% exercise.  All that working out was actually a roadblock to me losing weight regularly.  Weird, but damn if losing weight isn't SCIENCE??!  Go figure.
I’ve spent weeks and most recently, months, in plateaus.  Imagine this:  take everything I just wrote in the above paragraphs, cram it into 7 days of feeling good about what you’re doing, and then hop on the scale to see no loss…even gains now and again…it’s really, truly enough to break a person…most people DO feel defeated and some even quit.
So somewhere along the way I find this thing called Determination; and she’s pretty cool.  I don’t know where she came from but this new chick just showed up one day and decided to kick my ass into gear.  And she’s not letting me quit.  I’m NOT quitting.  There is no way in hell that I’ve gotten this far and worked this hard to turn back now.
On top of trying to live a healthy life, I’ve also started this this fun little huge side project, my blog.  Planning healthy meals is in and of itself time consuming, but I’ve also added another level by constantly trying to come up with new ideas of healthy recipes to share.  It’s researching, planning, shopping, chopping, picture taking, research on healthy statistics to share about the ingredients, writing the post and sharing it.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining, I WANT to do this…it’s more work, but I LOVE it.  I love to cook and I love trying to make things that were previously “off-limits” into yummy eats that I can have guilt-free.  It has made the eating part of this journey a whole lotta fun.  The biggest aspect of my blog is that it’s another way to hold myself accountable.  Who knows if anyone is really interested in the recipes?  I’m not entirely sure anyone cares about my weight loss…but the thought that someone MIGHT is enough to make me think about what I’m doing…it’s more pressure to keep going.
So, I do it.  I keep on going.
My perspective about life in general has changed so positively. When you are overweight or obese, the simplest things and thoughts can take over your life.  Things as simple as sitting comfortably into a restaurant booth, maneuvering a crowded room (I took up a good bit of space), buckling your airplane seatbelt, or partaking in physical activities that most people don’t think a thing about; they consume you.  I still think about these things…I’m getting on a plane on Sunday and for a fleeting second, I felt my old anxiety hit me.  Even though I don’t have to worry about these things anymore, they are there.  I’ve thought about them for so long, and they were such a part of my life, they are ingrained in my brain.  I’m still learning to let these things go.  And each time I encounter something I wasn’t able to do before, I do it, and I hope those old feeling and thoughts go and stay away.
But here’s the best part…I’m happy…I’ve always been a happy person, but I’m talking deep-down-so-incredibly-proud-of-myself happy.  I have lots more confidence.  It’s a good, good feeling.  And although I spend lots of time worrying and planning and doing what I need to do…there are lots of things I’m not worried about anymore.  Physically I used to worry that any little pain I had could be something more…now, I know my body like I’ve never known it.  I know what it’s capable of.  I used to be afraid of stairs…now, I climb mountains.  And the space I used to take up?  It’s a little less now.
Still, I have SOOO very far to go.  I would like to lose another 70lbs.  That’s a lot.  And maybe some people aren’t even impressed with 50 (point 1) lbs…Maybe they think, “Oh sheesh, Big whoop!  What’s 50lbs?  LOTS of people have lost LOTS more than that.”  And that’s SO very true!  It’s just that for me, it’s a pretty big (pun intended, ha!) deal.  I didn’t have the strength to lose before…I had no idea that I could do it and get here,  I bet anyone who knew me didn’t think I could do it, either…and that’s okay because if I didn’t think I could, why would they?  But I did get here…
So, there you have it…my answer to how I lost it:  it was hard, but it is WORTH it. 
Go me.

EDIT:  Pic from our vacation