August 29, 2013

Back from Vacation!


Hello lovelies!!  It's NSV Thursday with Katie and Ashlee - let's celebrate all of our little victories that have absolutely nothing to do with the scale, shall we???

I'm back from vacation and what an amazing vacation it was!

Last year at about this time I was so worried about going on vacation because it was my first vacation with family and I was nervous about keeping my momentum going.  This is my first NSV for the week:  I felt absolutely no worry about going this year.  I am finally in control of so many things and not only did I look forward to it, I stayed in a great mindset the whole time. I ate great food, that I don't normally partake in, I enjoyed it and I hiked my arse off so that I didn't have to feel one ounce of guilt.  We hiked over 20 miles and it was wonderful!  My nephews and my Sister In Law were just as eager to get up those mountains and I even got Hubs to go one day.  The day he went was our hardest hike of the week, heh heh... 

3 pairs of workout shoes and one pair of flip flops!


Every Night...

He didn't love it as much as I did ;)


My beautiful SIL!
Definitely got some relaxing in, too....

Me & the Hubs!

She's so proud of herself - #dork
My 2nd NSV is that we got home on Saturday night and on Sunday morning I laced up and headed out for a 4.5 mile run.  I'm right back on schedule this week and haven't missed a beat!  Annnnddd, tomorrow is my birthday :)  The OLD me would have used vacation as her first excuse to fall off the wagon and then used this week as her birthday week to splurge and not care.  NEW me knows that there are only so many days in the year that are worth splurging for.  The 4 days leading up to your birthday are not those days.

What were YOUR NSVs this week?  Think hard, I bet you've got a bunch!

Don't forget to check out this week's Healthy Makeover recipe:  Veggie Pasta with Healthy Pesto

Have a great week, everyone!

August 15, 2013

Progress Continues...


August is my birthday month and it's a fitting time to reflect on how far I've come in this little journey I've embarked on.  And since it is NSV Thursday, it's even more fitting!  I love this linkup and am always so inspired by all of my blog buddies - they keep me going and motivate me daily!!

When I first started out, I gave myself a 2 year deadline to get to my goal weight of 150lbs.  That meant that I had to lose 120lbs in 2 years.  Yah, you do the math.  This is the first time I have actually said what my weight was, so here goes:  271.  My heart just palpitated a bit and I'm contemplating starting this whole post over and being vague again.  That wasn't even my highest weight.  This is one of my least favorite sayings, but at one point I tipped the scales at heaviest.  Wow, right?  I'm not even 5'2" tall.  I was basically shaped like a circle...

I love football and one of the things that I always seemed to pay attention to were player weights.  In other words, "...he's a running back weighing in at 223lbs..."  I would gauge my weight like that a lot.  I seemed to always weigh more than football players....Ouch.  At 283lbs, I remember thinking "You're only 17lbs from 300...are we really going there?"  I didn't want to, but I didn't know how not to.  Well, without working hard and I apparently wasn't ready to work hard.

So, I did what everyone does and I tried to lose weight.  I never went to extreme measures because to be honest, I'm just too comfortable a person; I just figured it was bound to be this way.  But I did the usual:  work out hard for 3 days and see no results so I'd say, "Screw it..." and cry like a big baby, like a billion times.  Why was this so haaaarrrd???  {Insert very whiny voice}

Then, the fall of 2011 arrived and with it, the terrible death of an old friend...and the view of my life just changed.  Like in an instant.  You can read about it here.

My perspective has continually changed during this whole process, too.  I've learned so many things about ME, what I'm capable of, my body, weight loss in general, and so many more things.  One of the things I have learned since I began this journey is that there is no way to set a deadline for a healthy's don't stop once you get to a certain point.  And, I'll get to my goal weight when I get there.

I am almost 2 years into my new life and I'm a little more than halfway to my goal weight.  I have my frustrated days when I'm just so mentally exhausted I sit back and think, "How can I continue on?" but those moments are so fleeting because I know I just have to!  There's no turning back from this point.  I don't even want to.  I want the life I'm after and I have to continuously tell myself that I'm actually already LIVING that life.  It's not going to begin once I get there, THIS. IS. IT.

I'm continuously gaining confidence in myself and what I'm doing.  But I sometimes have days when I doubt what I'm doing.  Not that I'm doing it, but the way that I'm doing it; the process.  Should I be doing more strength training? Should I never put another carb into my mouth again (stupid, don't do this)?  Should I workout less?  Should I workout more???  Should I be doing what that person is doing and not what I'm doing??  It's exhausting!  However, I'm learning that I have to do what works for ME.  Not anyone else, and I try to remind myself of that often...sometimes I have to do it every day.  That's where my lack of confidence comes creeping in...and it's constantly a battle with myself.  I'm a work in progress for sure!

This weekend I was scrolling through pics on my phone and I came across one of my favorite pictures from the beginning of my journey.  I have always loved the idea of hiking...getting to the top of a mountain to be rewarded with a cool view or to be one with nature.  But I was always afraid...yes, literally afraid, that I wouldn't be able to make it to the top.  That day in the Spring of 2012, I decided I was going to hike this mountain with my good friend Missy.  I had dropped about 20lbs by that point and I was feeling great.  I felt even greater when I got to the top of it and conquered such a huge goal!  I'm sharing that picture below as well as a goofy selfie that I took on Friday because I was digging my cute new top and shoes.

Spring 2012 / Fall 2013
I was shocked to see these two pictures next to each other.  I've tried comparing photos before and I'll look closely and think, "Yah, I guess I see a difference..."  But I always think, I still have a long way to go...In these photos, I definitely see a difference...and it makes me a little bit teary because even though I have so far to still go, I'm getting there; I'm progressing and I'm happy to report that I'm happy with how I look today.  My hard work is paying off.  I'm so proud of both of these two girls:  the one who got me started on this journey, took the first step and climbed that mountain, and the one who is with me today, pushing, pushing, pushing me to continue.  When I posted these pics to Instagram, I said:  "I still feel immense pride when I conquer every new obstacle that comes my way, be it mountains, miles or burpees."  And it's so true!  I love meeting physical challenges head on!  The feeling of conquering something is amazing and is such a high!  My motto:  Bring it; Hell YES, I can do it!

If you are just starting out towards your goal, or smack in the middle of it like me, I want you to know that it's worth it.  All of the hard work and effort, blood, sweat and tears (lots and lots and lots of tears) are utterly and completely worth it ALL.  Just keep going...don't's going to be hard, but you have to suck it up and do what you have to do to get healthy.  Life is so short, don't waste another minute being unhealthy.

Hubs and I are headed on a much needed vacation tomorrow and to be with his family.  I cannot wait!  We have rented a lakeside house in New Hampshire and will be hiking, and swimming and running, and napping, and relaxing.  My brain needs it and the mountain-climber and runner in me craves it!

What were your NSV's this week??

August 1, 2013

Non-Scale Victory Linkup


Happy Thursday, Lovelies!

I feel like I've been MIA, and I guess I actually have but things have been so busy around here!  My mom and niece came for a quick visit and it was so good to have them here.  I hate it when I have to say goodbye to them but we had a great time while they were here and basically didn't stop the entire 5 days!

I feel like I haven't been keeping up with my blog buddies and I hope you all know that I'm still here routing for you and I promise I'll get caught up this weekend!

My first NSV is that I was able to really stay on track while my mom was here. We just love to eat but even though I did eat more than I normally would, I got my workouts in and didn't too badly at all. We even went to the fair and I thought this was pretty interesting...there were SO many things there that I used to LOVE to eat. I even got some of them...but as I was eating them, they just didn't taste all that great to me! I don't know if it's because it just wasn't good food, or that my tastes have changed? I'm going to chalk it up to both, but also add in that I have gotten to the point that I refuse to waste my calories on bad food. It has GOT to be worth it to me and that food just wasn't. My next NSV was a compliment from my mom...we were shopping and I went down an aisle and as I came back out of it, she was standing there sort of glancing at me, and all of a sudden she got this big old grin on her face and said, "My goodness Honey, I just didn't even recognize you! I keep looking for the old you!" That meant a lot to me because my mom has been a huge supporter of me but also somewhat of a critic in a way. And while my mom never meant to be mean, we had lots of conversations in the past about how some of the things she said used to hurt me. Things like, "You know, I'd love to have you around for a long time and I worry about you...I just want you to take care of yourself." Or when I'd try yet another fad diet, she'd say, "That's great! I'm so proud of you! I hope you can stick to it this time!" See? Not exactly mean, but when you're sensitive, that can be taken the wrong way. While she was here, I ran a lot and every time I'd get home she'd be waiting and tell me how proud of me she is and that means the world to me.

My beautiful niece, me and a rainbow

My mama, me and two cutie pies...

Some exciting news to share: I signed up for my next race!! I told you all how I was training for the Blood & Guts Run in October and now, it's officially official! I think because it's so far away my excitement overshadows my nervousness but I know as time gets closer, I'm gonna be a mess! I've always said that I started to run just so that someday, if the Apocalypse came, I'd be ready...well, here's my test run! Basically, it's a 5K with Zombies chasing you, shooting fake blood and with obstacles thrown in. According to the website the obstacles include: a blood and guts pit, climbing walls, tire gauntlet, hay bale pyramid, pumpkin guts pit, steeplechase, cargo nets, a mudslide and many more! The many more part is what worries me...haha!

One thing I want to try to work on in my new life is being more confident in my own decisions. I was recently told about something called The Imposter Phenomenon and it really hit home when I read the description. This is me. TO. A. TEE. Basically, there are three attributes to this:

•The sense of having fooled other people into overestimating their ability
•The attribution of success to some factor other than intelligence or ability
•The fear of being exposed as a fraud

This really hits home. And it goes back to my overall feeling of insecurity. I do this at work a lot. And in my healthy journey, I go from feeling very proud of my weight loss/healthy success to hearing about others' success and then second-guessing what I'm doing. Am I the only one who does this??? Sometimes it can totally ruin my day. I have got to get better about this. I need to remember:

OR that:

I am doing what is right for ME and it's going to take some trial and error but I have to remember that I cannot compare myself to anyone else.