I don't normally have the time to write an extra post in the week (honestly, I struggle sometimes coming up with blog-worthy posts during the two linkups I participate in), but I wanted to do a little bit of complaining - please bear with me...I need to whine and vent.
Some days, I am so overwhelmed by all that I still have to do to get to my goal. Most days, I'm just goin' about my bidness, doin' what I do and all is fine...but it seems like when I get to the weekend, I breathe this huge sigh of relief that I made it successfully through another week, then I think, "Fu#*, I gotta turn around and do it again next week..." It's so damn daunting!
Yes, I know this is now my life, but I dream of the day when what I'm doing is maintaining...not always trying to lose. And, yes, I know that I will always need to be on top of things to be sure I don't do this to myself again. It's just that I'm so impatient sometimes. I know that I will get to my goal - I have no doubt - but I feel like I'm in a race to get there, even if it's slow, and some days I just need a rest...
The thing is that I can't rest...I don't get the luxury of rest at this point. I have to be sure that I'm doing what I need to do to get to where I want to be. My motto is every. single. day. Whether that means something huge like an extra long workout, or something as little as drinking all of my water. I have to do something every single day to be healthy.
I have absolutely no idea what it will feel like to get to my goal weight - or exactly what I will need to do to maintain...but right now, whatever it is, sounds good because at least I will have climbed that mountain and gotten to the top. Right now, all I see is the tip of the top of that mountain and lots of other big ass hills to climb to get there.
Why did I waste so many years being fat? I don't know the answer...I just know that I never wanted it as badly as I do now. I'm willing to put in the time and effort and blood, sweat (so much sweat) & tears (even more tears!), to get there.
Listen to me, peeps - if you are in your 20's or 30's and you even just THINK you want to do this - take it from me - do it now! I wish I had had someone to tell me emphatically not to waste another minute!
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So, on my toughest days, I need to remember why I'm doing this (corny alert: to be the me I was meant to be!) and why I began this journey. If you haven't read what the final straw was for me, please check it out here. One of my dear friends from high school passed away from ALS and I think about him a lot. He'd give anything to be here to fight and I can honor him and life by fighting, too.
Okay, enough of the boo-hooing - I just needed to vent and I'm not one to linger on negative feelings, so OFF I go - another week ahead and another week to end and be proud of! Thanks for listening!
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Ugh, I seem to have a lot of those days. Especially because I feel like I've made no progress. But even though I haven't really had any physical changes, I at least ran a 5K - something I never thought I'd do! And at least you're still working on a better you - some days are tough, but it's the fact that you're trying that counts!!
ReplyDeleteGreat post Jenn!
ReplyDeleteI feel the same way about having to do this every single day for the rest of my life, but I should be glad that I'm working on it now at 25 and not 10, 20 years from now. I just hope that I can lost it and not find it again!
Oh Jen, I can so relate! It does get so monotonous at times. There are times I think...I have lost this 25 lbs a hundred times! Now I have lost it again and have 55 more lbs. to go! It feels so unattainable. But we have momentum! Maybe it is our age and we feel a desperate need to get healthy. But you can do this! You are doing so awesome!! Just remember, one day you will at the top of the mountain and it will be down hill from there. Have a wonderful weekend! {Big Hugs}
ReplyDeleteI love those quotes. Just in time. I am thinking about surrender, I can't stick to the weight loss plan for long but your sweet words wake me up. And I want to thank you for that. Btw, I've nominated you for Liebster Award. I'd like to hear what you think. Have a great week.
ReplyDelete-Honeybee
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