August 15, 2013

Progress Continues...


August is my birthday month and it's a fitting time to reflect on how far I've come in this little journey I've embarked on.  And since it is NSV Thursday, it's even more fitting!  I love this linkup and am always so inspired by all of my blog buddies - they keep me going and motivate me daily!!

When I first started out, I gave myself a 2 year deadline to get to my goal weight of 150lbs.  That meant that I had to lose 120lbs in 2 years.  Yah, you do the math.  This is the first time I have actually said what my weight was, so here goes:  271.  My heart just palpitated a bit and I'm contemplating starting this whole post over and being vague again.  That wasn't even my highest weight.  This is one of my least favorite sayings, but at one point I tipped the scales at heaviest.  Wow, right?  I'm not even 5'2" tall.  I was basically shaped like a circle...

I love football and one of the things that I always seemed to pay attention to were player weights.  In other words, "...he's a running back weighing in at 223lbs..."  I would gauge my weight like that a lot.  I seemed to always weigh more than football players....Ouch.  At 283lbs, I remember thinking "You're only 17lbs from 300...are we really going there?"  I didn't want to, but I didn't know how not to.  Well, without working hard and I apparently wasn't ready to work hard.

So, I did what everyone does and I tried to lose weight.  I never went to extreme measures because to be honest, I'm just too comfortable a person; I just figured it was bound to be this way.  But I did the usual:  work out hard for 3 days and see no results so I'd say, "Screw it..." and cry like a big baby, like a billion times.  Why was this so haaaarrrd???  {Insert very whiny voice}

Then, the fall of 2011 arrived and with it, the terrible death of an old friend...and the view of my life just changed.  Like in an instant.  You can read about it here.

My perspective has continually changed during this whole process, too.  I've learned so many things about ME, what I'm capable of, my body, weight loss in general, and so many more things.  One of the things I have learned since I began this journey is that there is no way to set a deadline for a healthy's don't stop once you get to a certain point.  And, I'll get to my goal weight when I get there.

I am almost 2 years into my new life and I'm a little more than halfway to my goal weight.  I have my frustrated days when I'm just so mentally exhausted I sit back and think, "How can I continue on?" but those moments are so fleeting because I know I just have to!  There's no turning back from this point.  I don't even want to.  I want the life I'm after and I have to continuously tell myself that I'm actually already LIVING that life.  It's not going to begin once I get there, THIS. IS. IT.

I'm continuously gaining confidence in myself and what I'm doing.  But I sometimes have days when I doubt what I'm doing.  Not that I'm doing it, but the way that I'm doing it; the process.  Should I be doing more strength training? Should I never put another carb into my mouth again (stupid, don't do this)?  Should I workout less?  Should I workout more???  Should I be doing what that person is doing and not what I'm doing??  It's exhausting!  However, I'm learning that I have to do what works for ME.  Not anyone else, and I try to remind myself of that often...sometimes I have to do it every day.  That's where my lack of confidence comes creeping in...and it's constantly a battle with myself.  I'm a work in progress for sure!

This weekend I was scrolling through pics on my phone and I came across one of my favorite pictures from the beginning of my journey.  I have always loved the idea of hiking...getting to the top of a mountain to be rewarded with a cool view or to be one with nature.  But I was always afraid...yes, literally afraid, that I wouldn't be able to make it to the top.  That day in the Spring of 2012, I decided I was going to hike this mountain with my good friend Missy.  I had dropped about 20lbs by that point and I was feeling great.  I felt even greater when I got to the top of it and conquered such a huge goal!  I'm sharing that picture below as well as a goofy selfie that I took on Friday because I was digging my cute new top and shoes.

Spring 2012 / Fall 2013
I was shocked to see these two pictures next to each other.  I've tried comparing photos before and I'll look closely and think, "Yah, I guess I see a difference..."  But I always think, I still have a long way to go...In these photos, I definitely see a difference...and it makes me a little bit teary because even though I have so far to still go, I'm getting there; I'm progressing and I'm happy to report that I'm happy with how I look today.  My hard work is paying off.  I'm so proud of both of these two girls:  the one who got me started on this journey, took the first step and climbed that mountain, and the one who is with me today, pushing, pushing, pushing me to continue.  When I posted these pics to Instagram, I said:  "I still feel immense pride when I conquer every new obstacle that comes my way, be it mountains, miles or burpees."  And it's so true!  I love meeting physical challenges head on!  The feeling of conquering something is amazing and is such a high!  My motto:  Bring it; Hell YES, I can do it!

If you are just starting out towards your goal, or smack in the middle of it like me, I want you to know that it's worth it.  All of the hard work and effort, blood, sweat and tears (lots and lots and lots of tears) are utterly and completely worth it ALL.  Just keep going...don't's going to be hard, but you have to suck it up and do what you have to do to get healthy.  Life is so short, don't waste another minute being unhealthy.

Hubs and I are headed on a much needed vacation tomorrow and to be with his family.  I cannot wait!  We have rented a lakeside house in New Hampshire and will be hiking, and swimming and running, and napping, and relaxing.  My brain needs it and the mountain-climber and runner in me craves it!

What were your NSV's this week??


  1. WOW, what a difference! Congrats on the major nsv!

    Hope you have a wonderful vacation! Sounds perfect!

  2. What an awesome, awesome post. I think SO many people can relate to where you were when you started, myself included. I weighed 228lbs at my highest, and I remember still trying to convince myself that there was no way that was my true weight. That my "true weight" was only about 210. Because at the time I was "running" 2-3 days a week. Which, in my mind, justified Jimmy Johns 2+ times a week. And giant brunches. And dessert. And french fries.

    It wasn't until I saw a really terrible picture of myself that I finally accepted that things had to change. And as much as we'd like to put time frames on success (I thought I'd lose 78 in 10 months), it doesn't work that way. But it's accepting our journey and continuing to push forward that will get us to the finish line. AWESOME NSV-- definitely a new follower :)

  3. I can realte to all of this!! Super proud of you for putting all that out there. It's hard. I know I'm vague about the real numbers a lot and I shouldn't be. I still have a long ways to go and cringe at my pictures. Yours look great! Have a great time on your vacay. Sounds like fun. I've never been anywhere up north before. I'm sure it is beautiful!

  4. You have made amazing progress! You are so right: to know I have conquered something I purposely set out to do is just awesome - especially when I thought it to be near impossible. And there's no way I want to stunt my progress by being unhealthy. Great job!

  5. I am so happy that I've met you here in blogland! Honestly you are an amazing person and beautiful! You look great and you've had amazing progress and that is something you should really be proud of! Don't worry about a timeline, you are changing your habits and that is for a lifetime! You'll get there, we will get there. I know it!

  6. You are so AMAZING!! Seriously! It's so important to look at photos like that from time to time, it can be so motivating. I hope you have the best time on your vacation! :)

  7. You are looking amazing, and I'm so proud of the progress you've made!! I love coming here for motivation and seeing all the hard work you're doing. Keep it up!

  8. I LOVE this post!! Your transformation pictures are amazing!! You dont even look like the same person!! You have come so far and I think its great that you are taking your time limit off it is, because it is supposed to be a lifestyle change, which is something I struggle with!! You are such an inspiration to me and I heart your face!! You are so encouraging and I appreciate it so much!! Keep it up lady and have fun on vacation!

  9. You look amazing! I am just starting out on my journey, but it is so inspiring to see your progress! Be proud of where you are today and where you'll be tomorrow! :-)