January 28, 2014

Just Get Through Today

So many of you ask me how I do this and the truth is that it is hard. It is the hardest thing I have ever done and it is the ONE thing that I never thought I could do…ever. I have fallen in love with fitness but I will always struggle with food.

The truth is that I am a food addict…and I will be a recovering food addict for the rest of my life. Each and every single meal, I fight with this little devil inside that says, “That’s not enough.” Old Jenn would look at proper portions and immediately think, “Pssshhht, is that the kiddie size?” Before I even started eating, I wanted my plate to be full. Or when I tried to pack my healthy lunches, I would have the best intentions with a low calorie microwaveable meal (because for some reason I thought THAT was healthy??) and before lunch even came around, I was already planning on what else I could have with it. I like big portions and I cannot lie. Even now, when I go to the bakery to get my coveted weekly bagel, I pick the biggest one.

I have a food addiction. When you have an addiction what do the experts say? They don’t tell you to “cut back” or “cut down.” Yet, the experts tell US if we want to lose weight and get healthy that we need to control our portions: Hey big girl, just have one. Ummm, if I knew how to do that, would my ass be this big??

What I am trying to express is that when you are addicted to food, you have to tell yourself not to overdo it...as you are eating...and then NOT overdo it! I struggle every day, even now. I am always going to want more than I should have. BUT the difference now is that I’m stronger than the urge and I get stronger every time I overcome it. Sometimes I do lose the battle, but I pick myself right back up and I get right back on track. That’s part of winning, too. Don’t let yourself get discouraged, just get right back to it. Every little thing you do makes a huge difference. It’s not always easy, believe me, but you have to want to be healthy more than you want the temporary satisfaction of that one meal. I am so much stronger now, and when I have the urge to eat lots of food, I eat my BAS (Big Ass Salad). So cliché, right? Who wants a big ass salad? I do actually. I love eating healthy. There is something so very satisfying in knowing that you’ve stuffed yourself full of only good things.

Just do your best. Start with breakfast, start with lunch, start with dinner. Just start. You just have to get through today.

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