I’m nervous…next week I will be on vacation. You think I’m a weirdo, don’t you? Vacation…nervous…wah?? See, the thing is that this is the first full week of vacation that I will be taking since I started my healthy journey last November. I made it through the holidays by not going crazy and remembering to tell myself that it’s not a season of eating…it’s one day/meal. But here’s the rub: this is SEVEN days of being out of my element, out of my routine, and it makes me a little nervous.
In my past life, I looked forward to any reason that I could find to take a break from “dieting” and one of the biggest derailments was vacation…specifically vacation food. It was a free for all for me. I’d enjoy everything that I wanted and didn’t normally get because I had deprived myself for a period of time. Then, I’d come back from vacation and continue the pattern berating myself for not getting right back on the plan…then eventually, there’d be no plan…just a month or two that went by and that little voice in my head that said, “I just haven’t been the same since vacation.” And the scale just went up and up…this happened over and over and over.
So that’s where that little seed of worry creeps in about next week…will I be able to come back and get back into my routine? Have I really become the person who is this stringent with my schedule and a freak about being healthy? Hell YES, I absolutely have. You know why? This is my healthy plan; this is my life. My mom, she’s such a fabulous lady, she summed up my feelings in a nutshell. She said, “You’re moving into Phase II. You’ve mastered Phase I and are eating healthy, you have your plan, you’re dedicated and as long as you have that plan, you’re good. But in Phase II, there are some obstacles that you aren’t comfortable with yet that you have to master. They involve little challenges like a change in your schedule you didn’t plan for, vacations, and even last minute get-togethers where meals are planned that you don’t get to choose. Once you pass these obstacles, you’ll feel better and more in control and that you are on your way to mastering this next phase.” She’s brilliant, that mom of mine.
‘Til now, I’ve been able to bounce back from a few days of being off schedule. She’s right, I do feel like I can come back quickly from those situations now. I barely give them any thought. In fact, it’s weird but I get a little giddy when I get back into my routine. I’m seriously that much of a control freak, I guess. But, this new me sees vacation as a definite road block because I haven’t had this challenge yet. This time, I’m definitely heading into it with a new outlook…my eating plan is NOT a diet that I get to take a break from. It’s how I eat now, every single day. It will be how I live the rest of my life. I will always have to make healthy choices if I want to win this battle. And I’m okay with that – I accept the challenge because the alternative is not an option. However, on vacation I will be completely out of my element without control over what the menu will be except for a few meals that I’m planning. I’m also nervous that the rest of our family will hate my healthier meals…I mean, it’s their vacation, too right? Should they have to eat turkey meatballs? But honestly, seven days of eating badly or without a little bit of control is completely freaking me out! And how lame would making a separate meal for myself be? It goes against everything that I know: I can eat whatever I want in normal size portions. That’s just life and the life I want to have. However, I can supplement a few not-so-healthy meals with lots of exercise and I feel comfortable when I can plan, plan, plan ahead. Obviously, that’s not always an option and I have to be better at figuring that out or going with the flow. Not an easy task for me, but I’m trying!! And with vacation…I have to do something to feel like I’m still in control of my journey a little bit. Sooo, I’m making the turkey meatballs, anyway J
So, here’s my plan: 1) Try to relax and enjoy myself; it’s vacation for damn sake! 2) Make solid plans to work out; I’ve already researched hikes I can do in the area 3) Enjoy some good food but don’t go nuts and 4) Bring my own healthy options to have when I can/need to.
My goal is to come back having not gained a gazillion pounds, I’m
